wake up, boy...!!

hmm, SNMPTN in coming up..

i'm so worry bout it. how if i failed to enter itb ?? :(

God, please help me, guide me to the best college for my future.

you know wat?!

i feel sad bout the result for the monday's TO..

actually i got 45% in dat TO (really happy with the result, hope i can do better in snmptn)

but that's not the point.

coz the reason da i feel upset about is about Ariel..

he used to beat my marks, but his marks is going down recently.

i wonder what is wrong with him. i hope he's okay..

and i really hope he can enter itb from snmptn. amin, cos i think he deserve to get it..

hmm, i feel sooo baad this week..

got a lot of depressing moment lately. feel like such a fool or sumthing..

hmm, am i that bad?? am i stupid? gosh, can't stand dis feeling any longer :(

BirthdaY? happy or sad?? BOTH...!!!

huah, yesterday : 27 April 2010 it's my 18th birthday..

i really really wish dat there will be a surprised for me actually..

but it didn't happen yesterday. a bit disappointed. but now i've realize that..

"KONSEKUENSI ORANG JAIL ----> JARANG BGT DIJAILIN"

LOL, don't know why it hurts a bit for me :')

i always dream dat sumbody will get me pun'k or make a surprise party for me..

am i wrong for that?? is it wrong to dream bout dat?? :(

the happy moments dat i felt yesterday :

1. i've got so many birthday greetings from all my friends..

2. i celebrated it with my teachers (bu el, bu ida, bu tetty) and also with ranti, sari, and iin. hehe, have a great time with them in pizza hut PGC..

3. my family (eventhough it is not complete) wake me up at 12 o'clock and bring me cakes with candles to blow..

the SAD MOMENTS are :

1. i din't get a surprise party like i've dream de day b4 my birthday..

2. 2 person dat's important for me didn't realize dat yesterday is my birthday. they are my fav teacher, and a special friend of mine..

3. there are a lot of people who cried dat day. they are :

sari : coz of her marks

inna: bcoz she just broke up with yoshua

dhevita: coz her marks didn't passed the standart score to enter IPDN..

4. I DIDN'T CELEBRATE IT WITH MY CLOSE FRIENDS. hmmfh, kinda disappointed with dat.

so, SHOULD I FEEL HAPPY OR WHAT?!

i miss you.. T^T

hmm, i forgrt to write bout wat happened on Sunday :(

i met Rendy when i pass Jakarta street (on my way back from pelabuhan ratu)

i just saw him for a few seconds, and it's only from sides angle..

really miss him right now..

when i saw him, it feels like i wanna hug him you know..

seriously, i miss all de moment that i have with him..

i miss his voice, when he called me an asked my phone number (but i get it wrong bcoz i missed 1 number at the back)

i miss his attention, he followed me (when i have a reunion wif my close friends) just want to be close with me, he followed me until i have finished the reunion :(

i miss all bout him lah :((

am i stupid for dat??

i can't help dis feeling. it's hard to forget bout him, i dunno why..

ren, seandainya lo bukan cowok yg ngga bener mungkin gw ngga bakal ngerasa sakit kyak gini..

missing you so badly T^T

Your Face, Your Attendance, Your Atitude is hurting me RiL..!!

it started when my brother gives comment in my quiz..

the quiz is bout "how's your mate looks like?"

my brother comment: "WOW, this is exactly how's ariel looks like, your friend in your toution SSC"

the bad thing is, i just added him the day before that comment appear..

and he accept the request 2hours AFTER the comment had been published..

i dunno whether he's using phone or web. but i guess he read dat comment already..

how can I say dat? hmm, i just know from his reaction after that incident.

and you know wat, he's changed!! it hurts so bad..

the first changes..

T : ril, do you want to copy this modul like the others??

A: hmm, later on may be *flat face* (usually he answers like "ok lah, as long it's not bothering you")

T: r u sure?? hmm coz i wanna copy dis modul for the others too..

A: hmm, ok then *still with no expression*

the second changes..

it happened yesterday..

while i waited for my friends to start the class in the lobby, he came..

when he passed me, he dun say any words, not even look at me..

gosh, do i looks very disgusting in his eyes??

the third changes..

usually he like to join my class after consule with the other teacher..

but yesterday, after he had finish consulting, he did not join mya class..

he went back home..

hmmmffh, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!

is this bcoz you know dat i have a crush on you boy?!

don't you know dat your attitude is hurting me??

i want you to be the same like before..

eventhough there's no place for me in your heart, at least i'm exist in your life ril..

as a close friend maybe, or just a friend..

but not a stranger for you.. (like rite now)

Plis dun change :'(

huah, so sad T.T

you know what.??

guess, i'm the loneliest person in my sorrounding now..

huhuhu my friend dat i wrote in de blog b4, just got a new boyfriend..

i wonder what's wrong wif me?? am i freak? nerd? or what??

why can't i have a boyfriend like ma other friends?? (so desperate lah)

before i write dis blog, i was listening to aaron carter song..

the title is i'm all about you...

i dunno why i cried when i listening to dat song..

so touching lah..

(i wonder there's sum1 who will sing dat song for me) *TOO MUCH DREAMING*

huahh,,

so sad lah!!!

i think the girl dat aaron sings for is very lucky lah,,

coz aaron sings 'MENJIWAI BGTT'!! so swit lahh >.< *JEALOUS*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnipXd6tyJw

HE'S BACK T^T

my God,..

The boy dat already broke my heart is back into my life now.

what a nightmare. The thing is i still love him *stupidly* but, u must know dat he's a jerk. Last years, there were so many bad news about him.

i've heard dat he steal sumthing from market, smoking and also offered a ciggarate to a small children, and there's one more news dat really hurts 4 me which i can't tell it in this blog.

but, i really can't understand why am i still feels happy when i know dat he's back and looking for me.??

my friend told me so many things about him. She said dat this boy willing to do anything for me (i'm not really sure about that). but when she said that he climbed his roof for only for asking information bout me, i dunno y it feels like very touching. i never feel like dat b4, and i never think that anyone could do things like dat for me :(

honestly, from all of de man (not much lah, few only) that show their love to me, only him that does de sweetest thing 4 me. he is not show it from words, but he show it from his action, which is so different with the other man in my life.

BUT that was just de past.,.

NOW, i only hear stories bout him. the stories dat makes me feel the 'love' again. BUT, in de end it hurts me so bad, the fact is so different wif the story. My friend said dat he's still hoping and try to get the love back from me but in the reality, he NEVER SHOW UP!! i never see him. gimana caranya gw tau klo pengorbanan dia selama ini bneran?? sedangkan gw ngga pernah ngeliat dengan mata gw sendiri..

in third problem, i dunno who;s the one to blame. is it him = for not being gentle as a man. or my friend = if she tell the 'fake stories' about him..

why all of dis happen to me? for de second time, my heart torn into pieces. gw ngerasa kyak dbawa terbang tinggi dan langsung dijatuhin pas udah nyampe atas. sakiit bgt!!

if this boy wants to hurts my feeling, all i can say is YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY DO IT, BOY!! CONGRATULATIONS..

new class, new situation, but why they change the English Teacher?!

wuahhh, I'm in grade XII already..
being the oldest student in the school, would not be easy..
hehe, we must face UAN next year. [scared lah]

but, there's bothering my mind..
the first day of school, i was crying bcoz i really miss vecione..
the class I'm in now is VERY different with [V]C1..
XII IPA 3 is very quiet, and i think they all are smart people who doesn't like to joking around wif their surrounding!! :(

even though I've got class like dat, i still can try to enjoyed it.
i set my mind like " it's okay, bout the class. no need to worry, this is just the beginning. and you'll still have a great teacher to teach you"
i keep thinking bout that on the first day of school..

BUT, the bad news come..
the second day, there's one of my friend (from the other class) said to me that..
the English teacher's change, Mr.Arif didn't teach grade XII..
i feel really sad when i hear that..
i just feel dat dis is too much..
I've got a class like dat, and my favourite teacher didn't teach me in the last year of school..
for 1 last year, i dunno lah. maybe i will turn ro be a quiet girl..

huhu, miss vecione so bad..
there's no one will 'bully' me like Ardhan and adit.
there's no one who have an innocent face like ical.
i still remember the time in Bandung..
when i was crying dat time, and all of my friends in vecione trying hard to entertain me and makes me stop crying..
huhu, i will not forget bout you guys..

and the last.,..
i think i'm gonna miss my fav teacher..
besides his way of teaching, i also miss the time when he tell story bout his life, his advice that encourage me to be an optimistic person (thank you so much sir), and the last i will miss the time when he was teaching in XI IPA 1..
:(

no matter what class you in/teach now friend/sir..
i hope the situation in grade XI didn't change..
you will always be my favourite class and teacher..
hehehe :)

BEST CLASS TUTOR : Bu Ida Sri Handayani :)

dun want to feel disappointed again :(

hmmfh..

my mom said dat our family will spending time in BANDUNG next Saturday..

BUT, kyaknya gw ga bkal bisa ketemuan ma abang gw..

should i feel happy or what?!

knapa sih kyaknya gw ma abang gw ngga jodoh bgt buat ketemuan??

wanna cry rite now..

this are the moments where both of us can't meet,

pdahal waktu ma tempatnya mndukung bgt :

1. pas abang gw nginep di Thamrin, gw dah nyoba buat mikirin cara ksana, dan pas gw ketemu (hari terakhir dia di jakarta), ternyata dia harus pulang lebih awal dsaat gw masih ada di skul.

2. pas gw ngelayat sodara gw ( jadi sedihh T.T ) di Bandung. harusnya abang gw dateng, coz sodara gw yg mninggal itu sodara dari nyokap. sayangnya abang gw dsuruh jagain rumah. And gw baru tau pas gw telp dia n gw dah ada di Bandung.

3. another moment pas gw ke bandung, ngikut kka gw yang mau tes di ITB. momen yg bkin gw sakiit hati BGT, coz hotel yg gw tempatin letaknya deket bgt sama humz dia. Tapi 4 some reason ( which i can't tell in dis blog), gw ga bisa ketemu dia.

hal yg bikin gw sedih, sebelum gw dateng mlm2 ke bandung, siangnya abang gw dah main and jalan2 ma kka gw. gosh, jujur gw sempet iri bgt ma kka gw! N gw juga smpet kecewa krna dia ngga ke penginapan pas gw ma bokap dah nyampe.

4. setelah Altan disunat, keluarga dia dateng ke rumah gw buat ngejenguk. and, for once again he couldn't come bcoz dat day was he's graduation's day.

will next saturday be the fifth one??

mksud : akankah no 5 bkalan keiisi ma hari sabtu besok..

jujur, gw ngga mau itu sampe yang ke 5.

Itu bkalan mnyakitkan buat gw, karna sbelum nyokap bilang ttg itu..

abang gw dah ngerencanain mau nnton, jalan2, and foto bareng sama sodara2 yang lain pas gw dateng ke bandung liburan ini...

T.T