Is it REAL or JUST ANOTHER CRUSH...??!! (part 2)

Flash Back :

the sweetest things dat he have said..

"udah ngga usa dibales aja smsnya tiara. apa biar aku telfon Yusuf nya biar dia ngga nelfon kamu lagi?"

But, no longer after dat...

i kinda confused with all his attention to me..

well, there's a gurl dat has the same name *almost* with him. well, the others like to match them up like a couple..

First i was okay with it, but then..

one dah we have to pay for english book, and (the girl ^^^^) didn't bring money for that, but no longer after that she accidently found some money in her pocket.

"wah, trnyata di dompet aku ada uangnya. hahahaha, nih aku bayar!!" she said

"tenang aja chi, kalo kamu ngga bawa juga bisa pake uang aku dulu kok!" he said

by that time i was like, what the hell??

in front of me you show dat kind of attention??

all day, i was soooo mad at him. but i dunno why, forgot also..

that madness gone..

then, the other problems come..

it starts when he said that he and nita (my other friend) was in de same room at the registration day. he wonder if anita knows dat.

then, when my friend said "ciye daus, sampe hafal. jgn2 ngincer nita nih"

his reaction is different like he use to react when people match him with uci..

his face is so serious dat time. but i can't figure out what's on his mind..

then the next day, nita sits beside him..

and he react so strange. *salting*

gosh, does he has a special feeling to nita??

T^T

but sometimes i feel like he giving some kind of a special attention to me..

they are :

1. he gives me the 1st cake in his birthday *i know it's the request from th class, but why would he wanna do dat if he doesn't like me? why don't he just gives the spoon not feeding me by himself!!

2. why he keep send me message, and always reply my messages (though it's not very urgent)

3. why he keep reminding me to eat, to take care myself, to drink medicine?

4. why he often say goodnight to me

aaaargh, i love you. though there's some guy who suddenly close to me. but you're the one that i think bout. you're message is the one that i waited for, and your love is what i am looking for..

DO YOU LOVE ME OR YOU JUST CONSIDERING ME AS A FRIEND?? DX

Is it REAL or JUST ANOTHER CRUSH...??!! (part 1)

sooo, confused!!
it begins with..

hmm, when the first time i enter the college, i met tis boy..
you know what, sometimes i feel like he's looking to me when he was smilling..
it's kinda freaking me up.

oh ya, we are in the same class which is IF-3404, and no longer after starting the real college, he become the head class and i become the secretary..

you knoe, i feel like i have interest in him. but, i just try to ignore it coz i don't know him and i think dat that's not important for me..
BUT, that feeling suddenly appear..

i don't kno when is it started, but the conversation between us starting with the wrong number thing!!!
first, i wanna ask him about the KSM, but unfortunatelly i contact the wrong number..
then i got his right number from the other friend, and starting then we are closely enough..

actually i don't know how will our relationship be..
but the different feeling appears when he said
"udah ngga usah di bales aja smsnya tiara. apa biar aku telfon yusufnya (the wrong number guy) aja biar dia ngga nelfon kamu lagi?"
gosh, dat's the sweetest things ever dat sum1 said to me *u may say that i'm too much for that, but it's reaal!!"

after dat we keep on texting, and sumtimes we texting until we falll asleep.

BUT..........

Fuck'in TIRED..!! *bad girl mode : ON*

i feel like my body wanna break into pieces. DX DX

it's started in august 2nd. that day, i went to telkom to register for dormitory, coz people say dat it's better to live in dorm than "ngekost". so i will try it lahh..

soo busy you knoe. from 11 o'clock i finish the 'TELKOM THINGS' (like the dorm, medical check-up, and buy uniform) . oh ya, FYI i have to put my uniform from monday to thursday. BACK TO SCHOOL GUYS. WHAT A FUN COLLEGE RIGHT?! argh,,

after finish all dat, i went to my cousin's house coz there were the 4o days after my 'ua' died.

kinda sad, ,but i'm not allowed to read the yassin coz i had period dat day.

and the yassinan thing finished at 9pm..

so i go back to Jakarta after i had drove my sister and my 'other ua' to their own house...

than i arrived at 12.30am. can you imagine dat?!

3rd august...

i wen to gian hypermart to buy things dat i will need for my life in the dorm, such a plate, bowl, glass, and other..

GUESS WHAT!! i buy the plate bowl and mu dat have a SESAME STREET on it. LOL, that's the only cartoon left. it reminds me of someone. u all know who lah XP

4rd august...

i went to the 'snake mart' aka pasar uler. i bought the electronics thing there. wow, so many laah. from rice cooker, hair dryer, and water heater. after that, i have to go back to Mega Bekasi Hypermall to buy things dat still missed. and it all done at 9pm.

wat a tiring preparation for the 'live alone' life. i have no idea wat will be happen on the OSPEK day!! WUAAA...

WHY IS IT SOOO HAAAAARD?!!! *frustrated*

aih2..

sick with all of the comment from all de people in my surrounding..

people said "tiara, look at your body! you become fatter yah! wat did you eat" , "you look like Annissa's mother twins", "you will take college in Bandung? wow, you will eat much there, and will be much fatter than now", "this is the yougest, how come she's fatter that the other sisters".

OMG, if i have a choice, i wouldn't want to have a fat body like dis.

I also want to have a slim, perfect, or the usual type of body for a teenage girls like me.

BUT, it's hard for me. i have been trying to change the shape of my body, but it need process. but they would not understand bout it. THEY NEVER FEEL WAT I FEEL..!!

now, i got an aerobic class in de morning, i don't eat rice for a week, almost every day i eat gado-gado. is it not enough?? should i feel more suffer than dis?? oh my LORD.

i'm tired with all the people comments, i'm tired to feel upset when the clothes that i loved didn't fit in my body, i'm tired with all dis stuff. oh God, please make it easier for me.

i really really want to SHOW to the people dat I CAN LOOSE SOME WEIGHT AND BECOME SLIMMER THAN BEFORE..!! hope it will become a reality :)