WHY IS IT SOOO HAAAAARD?!!! *frustrated*

aih2..

sick with all of the comment from all de people in my surrounding..

people said "tiara, look at your body! you become fatter yah! wat did you eat" , "you look like Annissa's mother twins", "you will take college in Bandung? wow, you will eat much there, and will be much fatter than now", "this is the yougest, how come she's fatter that the other sisters".

OMG, if i have a choice, i wouldn't want to have a fat body like dis.

I also want to have a slim, perfect, or the usual type of body for a teenage girls like me.

BUT, it's hard for me. i have been trying to change the shape of my body, but it need process. but they would not understand bout it. THEY NEVER FEEL WAT I FEEL..!!

now, i got an aerobic class in de morning, i don't eat rice for a week, almost every day i eat gado-gado. is it not enough?? should i feel more suffer than dis?? oh my LORD.

i'm tired with all the people comments, i'm tired to feel upset when the clothes that i loved didn't fit in my body, i'm tired with all dis stuff. oh God, please make it easier for me.

i really really want to SHOW to the people dat I CAN LOOSE SOME WEIGHT AND BECOME SLIMMER THAN BEFORE..!! hope it will become a reality :)

First time to TELKOM..!!

wow, feel so tired today..

hmm, i went to Telkom for registration in the morning, and i have to go back straight away to Jakarta to receive the certificate.

well, let me write and share my experience in Telkom..

first, i was feel so afraid coz the one dat serve us is the senior.

WOW, i thought they will be scary like a monsterr...

but i was wrong, they are very friendly, like i have already bcome their friends or sumthing,,.

i feel so comfortable there, is it mean that i meant to be there?? is it mean dat this are my future college?? still wondering bout dat actually...

hhmm, but there's a scene dat makes me feel 'Gosh, i wish u are mine'

(well, maybe that's too much) what i mean is i'm having fun when i talk to him, there's nothing serious, it's like i knew him already though i even don't know his name.

is dis mean dat i'm in love with him on the first sight?? REALLY?!

well this are the nice conversation we have. (i cut some of another people dialog)

*this is happen when i type my identity in the computer*

him: where's MIGS??

me : it's in Malaysia, kak. should i write malaysia next to MIGS??

him: no, just write the full word from that school

me : cannot. the column doesn't fit for that

him:okay, just put MIGS. wow, COOL!! MALAYSIA? how was the education there?? is it nice?

me : yup :D coz the teacher there always support their student when we are down..

him: that must be fun then. oh iya, what major do you take??

me : teknik informatika

him: haha, you're my junior then. i am in teknik informatika too XD

next scenee, (for this time i think i better used indonesian language)

me : kak, kalo ibu rumah tangga disingkatnya apa yah??

my mentor : ibu rumah tangga?? ibu RT de..

me : ibu RT kak?? ntar artinya lain lagii. hehehe, dsangka ibu rt bneran :P

my mentor : oh iya yah, hahaha. sbntar yah. ISMI..!!

him: knapa?? (he stand just beside me)

my mentor : ibu rumah tangga disingkatnya apa??

him: lah? udah jelas kan?? Ibu.. Rumah... Tangga.. jadinya I R T.

me :oh okok, hehe. (when i type i, the ibu RT comes out at the bottom)

him: hahaha, ada yang nulis ibu RT bneran. kocak, dodol bgt yang nulis XDD

"how well do you speak english?"

me : not really good actually. eh tapi2 kayaknya mentor aku yang ini deh, bukan anda. jadi sono gih sono. hahahaha :P

him: wuih, bahasa inggrisnyaa..!! haha, iya2 gw pergi..

when the other problems come..

me : ka, klo jaket almamater kira2 aku ukurannya apa yah?

my mentor : wuah, apa yah. hehe, aku S

the other mentor : aku M. ahahaa

my mentor : ismiiii, jaket lo ukurannya apaaa??

him: gw L. sgini nih L nya, mank klo di sekolah ukurannya apa?

me : kmren sih L.

him: yaudah, XL aja tulisnya. takutnya kekecilan :)

when i finished

me: makasih yah kak :D

him, and the other mentor : iya, sama2..

hahaha, that's all of the conversation we had..

guess i'm too much for this. aih2

wake up, boy...!!

hmm, SNMPTN in coming up..

i'm so worry bout it. how if i failed to enter itb ?? :(

God, please help me, guide me to the best college for my future.

you know wat?!

i feel sad bout the result for the monday's TO..

actually i got 45% in dat TO (really happy with the result, hope i can do better in snmptn)

but that's not the point.

coz the reason da i feel upset about is about Ariel..

he used to beat my marks, but his marks is going down recently.

i wonder what is wrong with him. i hope he's okay..

and i really hope he can enter itb from snmptn. amin, cos i think he deserve to get it..

hmm, i feel sooo baad this week..

got a lot of depressing moment lately. feel like such a fool or sumthing..

hmm, am i that bad?? am i stupid? gosh, can't stand dis feeling any longer :(

BirthdaY? happy or sad?? BOTH...!!!

huah, yesterday : 27 April 2010 it's my 18th birthday..

i really really wish dat there will be a surprised for me actually..

but it didn't happen yesterday. a bit disappointed. but now i've realize that..

"KONSEKUENSI ORANG JAIL ----> JARANG BGT DIJAILIN"

LOL, don't know why it hurts a bit for me :')

i always dream dat sumbody will get me pun'k or make a surprise party for me..

am i wrong for that?? is it wrong to dream bout dat?? :(

the happy moments dat i felt yesterday :

1. i've got so many birthday greetings from all my friends..

2. i celebrated it with my teachers (bu el, bu ida, bu tetty) and also with ranti, sari, and iin. hehe, have a great time with them in pizza hut PGC..

3. my family (eventhough it is not complete) wake me up at 12 o'clock and bring me cakes with candles to blow..

the SAD MOMENTS are :

1. i din't get a surprise party like i've dream de day b4 my birthday..

2. 2 person dat's important for me didn't realize dat yesterday is my birthday. they are my fav teacher, and a special friend of mine..

3. there are a lot of people who cried dat day. they are :

sari : coz of her marks

inna: bcoz she just broke up with yoshua

dhevita: coz her marks didn't passed the standart score to enter IPDN..

4. I DIDN'T CELEBRATE IT WITH MY CLOSE FRIENDS. hmmfh, kinda disappointed with dat.

so, SHOULD I FEEL HAPPY OR WHAT?!